Dear Parents/Carers,

With Father’s Day being celebrated this coming weekend, I thought it was timely to write something about the importance of fathers and father figures in our lives. I have included some material from Dr. Gail Gross, parenting expert, author and speaker.

Whilst I recognise that not all families have fathers, finding a ‘father figure’ for each child is important. Studies show that if a child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to your child's cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity. 

How fathers influence our relationships

Your child's primary relationship with his/her father can affect all of your child's relationships from birth to death, including those with friends and spouses. Those early patterns of interaction with a father are the very patterns that will be projected into future relationships. Not only your child's intrinsic idea of who he/she is as he/she relates to others, but also, the range of what your child considers acceptable and loving.

Girls will look for men who hold the patterns of good old dad, for after all, they know how "to do that." Therefore, if father was kind, loving, and gentle, they will reach for those characteristics in men. Girls will look for, in others, what they have experienced and become familiar with in childhood. Because they've gotten used to those familial and historic behavioral patterns, they think that they can handle them in relationships.

Boys on the other hand, will model themselves after their fathers. They will look for their father's approval in everything they do, and copy those behaviors that they recognise as both successful and familiar. Thus, if dad was abusive, controlling, and dominating, those will be the patterns that their sons will imitate and emulate. However, if a father is loving, kind, supportive, and protective, boys will want to be that.

Human beings are social animals and we learn by modeling behavior. It is impossible to over-estimate the importance of dad. For example, girls who have good relationships with their fathers tend to do better in maths, and boys who have actively involved fathers tend to have better grades and perform better on standardised tests. And well-bonded boys develop securely with a stable and sustained sense of self.

So let’s celebrate the important men in the lives of our children this weekend.

Happy Father’s Day to all!

May God continue to bless you

Mr Simon Abernethy
College Principal